My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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