i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
