So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
