i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
