I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
