Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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