the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
