Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
