He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
