cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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