Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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