Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
