he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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