She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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