You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
