i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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