By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
