Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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