Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
