I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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