I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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