Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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