im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
