I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
