really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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