That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
