I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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