she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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