I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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