Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!

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(206): View more from Washington

I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.

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(718): View more from New York

Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college

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(540): View more from Virginia

At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.

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