i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
