Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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