its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
