When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
