I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
