these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
