Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
