I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
