I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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