i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize