I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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