hotel room ftw
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
