Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
