Moan for me like Helen Keller
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize