I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
