ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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