I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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