Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
now i know why i became what i already was.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
