Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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