I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Fuck appropriateness.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
