how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize