Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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