Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
