i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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