He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
