he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just cut my nipple shaving
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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