Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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