so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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