How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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