If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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