Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
