I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We are two peas in an std pod
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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