The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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