I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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