You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
